Checking Out

"The greatest evil is physical pain." - Saint Augustine

From my best girls, Courtney and Ginger Spice.

After four days in the hospital, I was finally released. And spent yesterday shuffling to my neurologist's office, and dealing with yet another brain-curdling migraine, that resulted in yet another seizure. I'm spending the next two days in my bed, trying to recover from my hospital stay, and reconstruct my brain to a somewhat functional level of consciousness (no LOL's, please).

With a nursemaid like this, who could be sick. Really.

But let me finish my hospitalization story. After many simple partial and absence seizures, the epileptologist, Dr. Christos, came to explain the results of the EEG. For the millionth time, the results showed no evidence of recognizable physical changes (hence, the problem in my brain is not electrical). But that itself may not be entirely true, says Dr. Jesus (with long hair and a name like Christos, it was inevitable). The grand mal seizures were not captured on the EEG, so it is possible that I am having both non-epileptic AND epileptic seizures (more about that coming up). 

But in the absence of physical evidence, I was preliminarily diagnosed with Psychogenic Non-Epileptic Seizure Disorder (PNES), a condition where your body converts physical or psychological pain into seizure activity. In my case, my continued and unrelenting migraines have pushed my brain "over the edge", to the point where it can no longer come to terms with the pain and just wigs out. Furthermore, the onset of PNES often coincides with two things: an epileptic seizure in childhood (like the seizure I had when I was five), and a recent traumatic event (like my parent's divorce). So, #nailedit.

But I got to GO HOME. Amazing. I was able to shower, change my underwear, lay in my own bed, and resume some kind of normal life. Of course, the following day (wednesday), I had to see the seizure specialist at my neurologist's office to begin a treatment plan, but with a clean head of hair and an operable diagnosis, I was feeling BETTER.

Before, covered in heart monitor welts and bandages. 

After, with clean everything. 

So, wednesday brought my visit to the quirky, but wonderful seizure specialist. She confirmed a probable diagnosis of PNES, but is concerned that the lack of grand-mal seizures captured by the last EEG doesn't rule out Epilepsy. So, two days before my wedding, I get to have electrodes put back on my head to try and have a big, big, seizure. 

Dirty hair again. 

But, in the meantime, the problem is being attacked by something other than heavy narcotics that have a tendency to create migraines that are even worse than the ones they're supposed to treat. I am on a preventative medication, Maxalt (also known as rizatriptan), and will continue on Kepra until there is evidence of epilepsy (or not). I am also going to start a botox regiment when my insurance will cover it, so I stay forever young, and to help the chronic migraines. Both epileptologists suggest that by controlling the migraines, I will have a much better chance of controlling the seizures.

And that's where we are today. Oh, and never let a smooth-talking nurse talk you into the flu shot when you're down and out, because you will definitely get the flu. So, cheers to adjusting to new medications while having the pseudo flu. Swell times.

Here's more info on what I maybe, possibly have.